2025-02-08

Do you know that feeling when something that happens in your life gives you a nudge in a good direction? The feeling of meaningfulness; things falling into place? This is a story of an awesome walk that brings home to me a lesson for later life.

The only other time I've been to New Zealand was for a month in March 1991 (post PhD). I climbed Mount Ngauruhoe and toured South Island with my backpack, but didn't have time for Mount Taranaki. So now, visiting my daughter who is doing a study year abroad in New Zealand, it was on my wish list. She agreed. We drove down on Wednesday, stayed at The Camphouse there (which is already 946 m above sea level) and planned the round trip to the summit for Thursday. It was a beautiful morning.

We set off in good spirits with a good pace. After passing the Tahurangi Lodge the going gets a lot harder.¹⁾ There are several signs along the way to prompt you to check on yourself as well as the weather. I was fine for most of the way, but then started to feel less comfortable as time went on. Clambering over rocks on a very steep slope is not best combined with feeling a bit dizzy and faint. I was getting to need 5 minutes rest or more for each 5 minutes of climb, which was not really feasible. At what was maybe 45 minutes from the summit I encouraged my daughter to continue while I had a rest, very warm and comfortable in the strong sun, above the clouds, with an amazing view.²⁾

On the way down, I introduced my daughter to the basics of scree running. We got down safe and sound, with a few cuts and scratches from the rocks, and some sunburn despite the suncream from the very harsh ultraviolet up there. I have many photos, my daughter took some from the summit as well. We had been very lucky with the timing and the weather, no cloud, then above the clouds, until we were on the way down. Really heavenly.

After stopping near the peak, at first there was the mixture of disappointment at not actually going the whole way, along with a reassurance that I was being very sensibly cautious and not pushing myself beyond my limits. But then, from whatever source it came, deeper reflection dawned.

I don't need to go the whole way.

In some ways, it's really foolish even to imagine I could go the whole way.

In the end, it's not about me, me, me, and my achievements. Instead, there is a different role I can play, which fits much better.

My daughter wouldn't have tried this on her own. What did I do? What could I do for others more generally in this role, which I could call eldership?

I can see the potential in younger people, and encourage them with a realistic sense of what I see as actually possible, from what I know from my first- and second-hand experience.

I can help inspire towards the visions that have stood the test of time, staying alive in me for many years — the things that I most value and that I know others value, rather than the things that seem attractive in the moment, but lose their appeal when one's view broadens and deepens.

And I can offer my resources: my knowledge, skill, experience, time, energy — whatever is most needed. It's so important that it is offering, not pressing. It's not about me, that what I have in mind must be done; it's an offer of what I have and what I have learned, which I hope may be useful, but I cannot be sure, as things change all the time, and I cannot possibly be sure about what is still relevant and what is no longer so.³⁾ But I can still be an explorer.

* * *

And so I am fully content with what turned out. Fully content with my role, not of completing (there is always more to do) but of leading for a while; pointing the possible way; laying the groundwork that may (or may not) serve; encouraging, inspiring, offering.

• eldership