====== 21st of 12th month ======

[[2022-12]]-21

Solstice day, shortest day, here in England. The sun has recently risen. I have just got my web site back.

It has been my intention for quite some time to write more, and to read only what is important. But how I write is also important. I do not want to write as I did when I was 12: the trivial facts about living. I want to write with the art that I now recognise — the art that recognises my personal experience, but frames it in a way that it relates to many people.

I want to write about my experience in Bergerac, where I was for the whole of November, [[https://lifeitself.org/embodying-collective-transformation/| Embodying Collective Transformation]], led by [[http://www.karlsteyaert.com/|Karl Steyaert]].
But I don't yet know how to write about that in a way that connects to common experience. That is an art I need to learn more about. I can say that it felt something like a “sweet purgatory” — it often takes pain to bring new awareness to old patterns; to give the motive for growth and change.

I want to write about [[t:IFS]] – Internal Family Systems – as it was the main approach that we were introduced to at Bergerac for understanding self, others, and interactions — on top of NVC.
For info on IFS, see the [[https://ifs-institute.com/|Institute]] with its [[https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline|model]], and the [[wp>Internal_Family_Systems_Model|Wikipedia]] entry.

But I don't want to write uninformed, so I'm hoping to review three books I have bought on the topic (links to publishers pages):
[[https://www.soundstrue.com/products/no-bad-parts|No Bad Parts]];
[[https://www.routledge.com/Intimacy-from-the-Inside-Out-Courage-and-Compassion-in-Couple-Therapy/Herbine-Blank-Kerpelman-Sweezy/p/book/9780415708258|Intimacy from the Inside Out]]; and
[[http://www.patternsystembooks.com/ifs-series-books/|Self-Therapy]].
The last of these is given with a caution, that doing ‘unburdening’ by oneself can be tricky, or even hazardous, so I am told.

I want to write about how I want to live. Briefly: in a co-living, co-working context where the people I share love with also share caring about loved others. Sharing passion, I want to be working in synergy, in [[t:collective ikigai]] towards what we collectively love. In collective love, which I believe is larger than, and includes, individual and couple love. But here as well I do not know what to write. I guess it will take collaboration and the inspiration of conversation to bring that out.

I want to sort out things, and get rid of, give up, things I cannot or do not have time, space and energy to sort out. But I don't know how, exactly.

I keep coming back to wanting to live in presence. In the presence of the divine, if that's a word for you. 

More later.

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