21st of 12th month
Solstice day, shortest day, here in England. The sun has recently risen. I have just got my web site back.
It has been my intention for quite some time to write more, and to read only what is important. But how I write is also important. I do not want to write as I did when I was 12: the trivial facts about living. I want to write with the art that I now recognise — the art that recognises my personal experience, but frames it in a way that it relates to many people.
I want to write about my experience in Bergerac, where I was for the whole of November, Embodying Collective Transformation, led by Karl Steyaert. But I don't yet know how to write about that in a way that connects to common experience. That is an art I need to learn more about. I can say that it felt something like a “sweet purgatory” — it often takes pain to bring new awareness to old patterns; to give the motive for growth and change.
I want to write about IFS – Internal Family Systems – as it was the main approach that we were introduced to at Bergerac for understanding self, others, and interactions — on top of NVC. For info on IFS, see the Institute with its model, and the Wikipedia entry.
But I don't want to write uninformed, so I'm hoping to review three books I have bought on the topic (links to publishers pages): No Bad Parts; Intimacy from the Inside Out; and Self-Therapy. The last of these is given with a caution, that doing ‘unburdening’ by oneself can be tricky, or even hazardous, so I am told.
I want to write about how I want to live. Briefly: in a co-living, co-working context where the people I share love with also share caring about loved others. Sharing passion, I want to be working in synergy, in collective ikigai towards what we collectively love. In collective love, which I believe is larger than, and includes, individual and couple love. But here as well I do not know what to write. I guess it will take collaboration and the inspiration of conversation to bring that out.
I want to sort out things, and get rid of, give up, things I cannot or do not have time, space and energy to sort out. But I don't know how, exactly.
I keep coming back to wanting to live in presence. In the presence of the divine, if that's a word for you.